The Positives of Infertility

Nobody wants to think negative thoughts and be depressed all the time, and nobody wants a diagnosis that's 100% bad and depressing. It's hard, after finding out you have something that breaks your heart and shatters all your dreams, to find positives. But my life has always been about looking towards to brighter side of things, to make anything seem positive, to cling to a little bit of sunlight in the darkness.

So for weeks, I've been trying to come up with a list of "good" things about becoming infertile. It's a short list, especially for how long it took me to think it up, but at least it's something.

• I never have to worry about birth control again. This is pretty handy, I guess. I didn't know how we were going to stop having babies, exactly. Birth control and I don't exactly mesh well together (I get very sick on it) and who wants to take birth control until they're fully through menopause? I definitely wasn't planning on getting my precious tube burned. Of course Bill wasn't running to the vasectomy doctor either, and I think he would have liked to keep our options of children open for as long as possible. So this settles that debate. 
• I would never have chosen to take this much time off of having another child (obviously, as I had just been pregnant). I would have been having another baby in the late summer. Had my tube survived, I probably would have had a baby by the end of the year. Not having a baby this year, however, means that a lot has opened up to me. At Will's age, Katie had already become a big sister, so this is uncharted territory. The kids are at an age where I'm comfortable dropping them off with a family member for the day (or night) so Bill and I can have time to ourselves. Date Nights won't only just be crashing on the couch to watch a movie with some wine. We can actually go out and do things. I'm finally going to get my licence, which I haven't done yet because I hate driving with kids in the car when I'm not accustomed to the multiple cars we've had and I taking the test while thinking a baby was waiting for me screaming and crying was too much on my nerves. And vacations, though we still can't afford them, have become half the price of what I was planning now that there's only two kids instead of three. I would have felt a bit selfish to take so much time between kids off, as I have always wanted to keep the kids close and have great, close relationships, but since I'm in it anyway, there are definitely ways to have fun now that I'm not pregnant or prepping for a newborn. 
• I never, ever have to worry about an accidental pregnancy again. Which is good now and for if the zombie apocolypse happens. Because unfortunately, I'd be like Lori and die from needing a c-section because my babies don't come out naturally.  (Yes, I was having to grasp at straws at this point. Turns out infertility doesn't have that many good points to it. Who would have thought?!)
• TMI warning with this one - sex has gone to another level suddenly. Now there's never a worry about if this will make me pregnant, or there's never a worry that it won't make me pregnant. There's no stress in it at all now either way. Sex has gone from something fun to do along side making babies to just being a way to express our love and do it only because we love being with each other. I was so worried that there would be a lacking, now that it can not do what it was meant to do, but instead there's a magic in it. It's become more passionate, more personal, more intimate. There's now like an even deeper feeling to it, like another whole sense. That part truly is an amazing part of this. I wouldn't trade my baby making parts for it, but since I've had to, it's truly a blessing. It's gone from something we enjoyed doing often, to something we can't get enough of all the time.