Praying, Hoping, Waiting

I'm not sure what's harder - waiting for something tangible, something that feels so within your reach, or waiting for something that's so wanted but so far off.

I thought waiting for something far off would be hardest. But as it turns out, I'm feeling a bit overly tortured at what felt like was so close.

Bill had an interview with a company that offers IVF coverage plus med coverage. It only makes families wait 30 days before taking them all on. It has a good bonus and weekends off. It sounds perfect. His interview seemed to go really well, he's been feeling really confident.

They told him that the position requires a second interview and if he gets one, he'll be hearing about it early next week.

That's now. Right now. Monday or Tuesday is early next week. This company is prompt. They called about his application the morning after I put it in. It's Monday afternoon and so far today has been on giant prayer fest.

So far the phone has rang a few times. Interestingly enough, one was for an interview at another job. He's had quite a few offers, but some are too far away and some have too little pay. Out of the very few jobs I put in for, he's gotten 5 offers.

But I really, really want this one. And he does too, it seems to have given him a breath of fresh air.

We need this second interview. It's the logical next step to our plans. This company has the best coverage in the entire area...probably only second best in the entire state (first best is working for the actual Blue Cross Independence company, apparently)

Every passing minute feels a bit harder. If my anxiousness and amount of want could make the phone ring, I'm sure it would be ringing off the hook. In fact, part of me seems to think that I could make it happen by sheer will. I'm getting very little done today, I'm so focused on this. There's only two more hours left to the office hours, then it's all up to tomorrow. It's hard, waiting for this. It's hard waiting for a new baby. I've noticed that the want for a new baby has been even stronger lately than it has been this whole time. it's all torture.