http://www.huffingtonpost.com/colleen-berge/infertility-a-grief-no-one-sees_b_8978064.html?utm_hp_ref=women&ir=Women&
This article is speaking everything I'm feeling. I think part of my anger problem right now is because it seems like everyone we share our grief with immediately just says "well at least you have two kids" and acts like that shuts the door on our grief, or like our grief isn't justified. Being truly grateful for two miracles does not rule out the pain of losing two miracles that were sent back to heaven, or take the mourning and pain out of the babies who we were waiting to come. Babies who we had already picked names out for, themes, ideas. Babies who might never come at all now. Saying "at least it's not..." does not take away the pain, it simply makes it feel like you don't think my situation is worth your sympathy.
I know everyone wants to take away pain or grief, but it is not yours to take or to transform. Let us have our grief so that we can begin to mend instead of feeling like outsiders that no one understands or just pushes aside. The best way to support someone going through a miscarriage or news of infertility is to be understanding, validate their pain, and be there as they work through it. Do not diminish it, recognize it for what it is and be present.
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